What a day. I feel the need express my feelings about something most people already know; People who go to malls are morons.
Yes, I had to go to Crabtree mall in Raleigh today. What an experience. Here's what happened:
Going to the mall does not start with just "showing up" at the mall. It's as if when the decision is made to go to the mall, everything starts to just suck. FIrst, I had to get some gas. I showed up at the gas station, got out of the car and put the pump into the tank. No biggie. Except for when I noticed that the pump wasn't working. Well, the gas station person came out and explained that they had lost power, and that the transformer was bad. No biggie, I'll get gas later.
So I leave the gas station to the I440 on-ramp. Some inbred putz in a green GMC truck (if you see him, tell me, I still want to kick his ass) almost sideswipes me and cuts me off. That's not the bad part, he and his ugly wife start yelling at me like it's my fault. Ahhh, road rage is cool. I rollled down my window and yelled to try to get the jerk to pull over so that I could take a tire iron to his kneecaps. He didn't bite though. He was a wuss and chose to drive at least 10 mph below the speed limit so that I wouldn't follow him. What a panty waist.
I finally got to the mall. Oh crap. It's like Christmas. No parking spots at all. Following people to their cars is a pain since you have to drive sooooo slow. After 1/2 hour I finally found a place to park.
Needless to say, my mood is really sour about now.
OK. Let's go in and buy what I have to buy. FIrst thing is first, find the mall directory so that I can make this as quick as possible and leave. All set, now lets go to the store I need to go to.
I have to go to Kirkland's. Before you say anything, it's my wife's birthday, and the whole reason I had to go to the mall was because she only wanted one thing: A stupid singing fish. My god, I came to the mall for this excessively annoying POS. It plays "Rock the boat" and the fish mouths the words. Really irritating to say the least. I don't know why she wants it, she mentioned putting it in her cube at work. Maybe she wants to be fired, or maybe she wants the people she doesn't like to quit. I have no idea.
The fish has been bought. I was hoping that the store would have bags you can't see through, but they didn't. Now I have to walk through the mal with this embarrasing thing showing through the bag. Ugh.
Walking through the mall definitely causes tempers to flare. I always seem to end up walking behind the group of people who have absolutely nothing better to do that be at the mall. They are so slow I could walk backwards and pass them. What's worse, if you try to pass them they seem to change their pattern and walk right in front of you so that you can't pass. I really wanted to jam my car key in this idiot's neck so that I could get by.
To be short, people driving to the mall suck, the things you can find in the mall suck, and the people who hang out in the mall suck. I' m going to take a nap now.