9 Aug 2000 squiggy   » (Journeyer)

Woke up to some killer thunder & lightning this morning. Had a nice refreshing shower, and a bite of breakfast. Did some morning stretching. Stopped to get gas on the way into the office, and got it for less than $1.25 for the first time in ages. What a nice morning. I like having more complete control over the way I live my life.

Spent a few minutes getting Mon configured to check up on our new internal mail server. I suppose the next logical step would be to actually build the internal mail server. This is going to end in a bloodbath between Haiyan and myself.... she comes from a research computing background. We're gonna butt heads over this 'bleeding edge' vs. 'solid and stable' thing. Oh well, should be fun.

I think I found my new watch. Anybody know anything about these things? Like wether or not they're crap, or where I could go to try one on, or especially where I could find one cheaper?

Had a going away luncheon for Scooter. He's fallen prey to the great techy gold rush of the late '90s. He's been workin' out in the bay area for a while, but now they are well and truly leaving town for good. *sigh* I 'll miss 'em.

But that and the impending departure of Chris has lead me once again to think about the conversations I've been having with him lately... The same conversation I've been having with myself for a few years now. Basially, is it time for me to leave? Have I grown as much as I can here, and staying longer only stiffles me as a person? Perhaps staying in the midwest is one of the reasons I'm so brutally unhappy all the time.

But then again... why would I be leaving? Running to the remote possiblilty of something or someone or somewhere better? Running away from myself? Running away from what I see myself becoming or maybe failing to become? Would I be running away from my family problems?

You know... I think probably that the real benefit of therapy is not in helping yourself get through the really bad times. Rather I suspect it's in helping you cope with the questions that arise when you start to get better. *shrug*



[Thoughts?]

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