i keep writing these diary entries, and then remove them because they would cause more problems than their writing is intended to convey.
my situation, for the last four months, is such that i am in an extremely weak position - one that i accepted - and i am now reliant on other people in order to sustain my current status. those people are in three different countries.
as might be expected, starting from a weak situation, a lot can - and is - going badly wrong.
that's all i can really say without causing further problems for myself or the people whom i am heavily reliant upon in the situation that i mistakenly accepted.