carl is currently certified at Apprentice level.

Name: Carl Schmidt
Member since: 2001-07-17 20:20:51
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Uh...heh. It's been about two years?

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It's August 29, 2004...


It's been about two years or so since I've ventured into this...

Here I go again, taking a few months between entries. Not a whole lot has changed since the previous entry. I am listening to Noam Chomsky and reading about how much I hate the English language. The English language is a horrible pile of dogshit. Want to write something? Expect to break some "rules" of the language.

ANyway, enough about the English language. Today has been ... uh ... fun. Yeah, that's it -- fun. I slept through most of the day but the bit that I was awake for was nice. The weather has been good recently with warmer temperatures and some much needed rain.

On to what I've been doing. I am doing two main things at the same time: learning perforce (p4) and reorganizing sys/ on my FreeBSD tree. Changes can be viewed here: p4db.

I was reading TCP/IP Illustrated Volume 2 (Implementation) earlier but I left the book out in the car -- oops. This is all for now since life is still boring. Oh I guess I'll add that I had a nice job for five days receiving $18/hour but was promptly fired because the people in charge did not quite understand what I was there for. They were confused and thus so was I.

Yeah so wow it's been three months since I've used this. Well here's the deal, I've been doing some stuff lately involving C and I'm trying to understand it. I'm understanding it better than I ever did but it's still not "clicking" very well yet. I'm "getting there" though and that's a good thing as far as I can tell.

On the other side of things I am reading more about the history of the united States of America. I am also reading a lot about the laws of the past and the current implementation of law. It's a really sad thing to read though because of some of the blatant violations of those laws the united States government has committed. There are some very interesting sites to look over about the topic of government corruption and the ones to really look for are ones with code citings and regulation citings and executive order citings. They are generally better off because you can open up another browser window or run another instance of lynx or whatever and go to Mind you, the site uses java on the front page so that pretty much sucks but you can access things like the U.S. Code, the constitution, and the U.S. code of federal regulations (coincides to some degree with the U.S. Code). There is more to it than just looking up the code and regulations. There is a large page on a .gov site, I forget the URL, with a cross reference of everything that is actually a law. If I find the URL I'll put it on here.

Basically all I've been doing is reading lately.

Bah. I hope I am wrong on this and I hope many others are wrong on this but it would seem there will probably be some sort of knee-jerk reaction to all of this with regards to computer technology. Namely -- encryption. I'm reading far too many stories putting encryption in a bad light and whatnot for the sake of having a story to print.

Today hasn't been too bad. I only woke up at 3:30PM ... =( So I haven't been awake for too long and I haven't eaten anything yet. I've been reading some things today and doing some work on my server. Decided I want to go back to a stable apache so I can have php again (I was running the latest cvs code). I might consider running FreeBSD-CURRENT on my server soon but I'm not too sure about that yet. I will almost definitely run -CURRENT on my laptop soon because I could use some more fine-grain power management and better support for the hardware in general. That and I have an idea for something which was suggested to me a while ago about making some firewall extensions. I would like to do something where you say "only this (or these, perhaps a list in a configuration file) program(s) can access the Internet" or something like that. You get the idea. So that would be cool. It'd be more fine grained than just blocking tcp/udp/icmp etc. OTOH I can imagine that would inflict some serious overhead on the system. This is the price you pay for a little more security... I guess in some way it's like what linux's netfilter/ipchains/whatever the fuck it's called does except it'll be done on a non-toy OS. I see that ipfw does uid/gid filtering which is nice but it's not enough. Honestly I don't even know if it's a good idea to try and stop individual programs from using the network. It seems you can only do so much with being able to block certain ports, flags, options, types, etc. So I guess it wouldn't be a bad idea. I'm open to suggestions if you want to email me.

I'm finally reading more into 4.4 BSD D&I...something I should have done a long time ago. I would like to learn a little more about filesystems some time soon.

I don't think I'm going to be IRC'ing anymore for a number of reasons. I'm tired of all the fighting and whining that I do. It doesn't make me feel good to fight and complain all the time so why bother? Besides that -- idling is rather boring too and a big waste of time. I said it before on IRC that I am unproductive when I am on there. So I think it's time to be a little more permanent on a previous decision I had made. Believe it or not this has very little to do with events that happened last night -- I've been feeling this way for a while now and think it is time to stop wasting time (heh). I don't think many people would disagree that IRC can be very unproductive while it can be very productive as well; it just depends on the topic and the people I guess. As has been said about me before I do not have much skill with programming but I am going to change that...somehow.

So today marks a new day (this is getting very repetitive isn't it?). I think I've probably said that at least once before. Oh well :).

If it weren't for the fact that I like having a healthy liver, a healthy brain, etc. I would probably go get fucked up because I feel like damaging myself. However, getting fucked up is not in the list of priorities so that won't happen. I've never been so depressed as I am right now and am, in some strange way, proud of the fact that I haven't turned into an alcoholic yet.

Bye people. Don't be surprised if I don't write another entry for a long time (though it would behoove me to keep up with this).

Man. I feel sick. I haven't been sleeping very well. Haven't been sleeping much at all actually and when I do it's at very strange hours...again. But today I feel really sick. My stomach is aching like a little bitch and my eyes are burning after I lit some incense.

Lots on my mind over the past few years. More than I can really try to put down here. Things like where to get a job, should I give college a try again, etc. Not sure if I even want to stay in this country. Not sure about how to teach myself some things I need to learn. However I am sure about a couple of things. I am sure that when someone doesn't know the same things I know I'll put a little extra effort into not rubbing that fact in. I know that I have just had one of the worst fights with my mother ever. I know that I have some serious problems, physically, that need to be addressed really soon. I know that there are a lot of problems in this world and not a whole lot is really being done about them. If I really tried I could probably generate a list the size of a encyclopedia of problems this world has.

Yeah so my mom thinks I have a porn addiction. My mom thinks I need to find "God" too so take that for what it's worth. My mom thinks a lot of things. My mom tries to be the mom of a little child probably because she wasn't really much of a mother when I was younger and was living with my father.

Knowing that this is really intended for developers and whatnot I shall keep this short. Maybe I will do something on my website some day. I don't know if I really care much about these things anymore. It seems there are far more pressing matters than whether or not I understand C.

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