I just asked the Internet to crowdsource a professional bio for me, figuring that literally anything would be better than having to write one myself. The results aren’t bad, though the process was far messier than that would suggest. (Etherpad link will disappear in 30 days, may get messed up before that. I’ve saved a copy offline for posterity.)
My favourite quote from the process, from Sumana:
She reinvents herself so frequently that any given moment is an inflection point, unextrapolatable.
I don’t know where I can possibly use that, but I love it, so I’m posting it here.