Madness

In early December I realized I was getting quite depressed. I'd lost interest in everything, I was sleeping too much, I was no longer studying my shiny new guitar. I asked my psychiatrist for imipramine, which is a very old antidepressant and so not commonly used anymore, but my experience is that it works well for me.

For one thing I courted the woman I would later marry while taking imipramine. She divorced me when I was not taking it. Would antidepressants have saved our marriage?

It mostly works well, but every antidepressant takes a long time to take effect. A few days ago I took up the study of Javascript, then pulled a Conway's Life implementation right out of my ass. It felt good to be writing code again.

But today, despite knowing there are many ways I could occupy my time, I have no interest in anything. Just now I'm telling myself This Will Soon Pass.

I'm expecting a Mac OS X driver contract soon; it was to have already started but there have been some delays while their windows people do some manner of workaround, which workaround it is expected I will use. It would be good to be back to work.

It's not about the money, it would be about having some purpose other than to make it to meals at the soup kitchens on time.

Never Say Die

After some scouting around I assigned myself a Haiku ticket. I'm just going to silence some warnings, but there are lots of programs that need that. This will be a good way to get back into Haiku development.

I've only contributed in very modest ways so far but I'd like to do a lot more.

Haiku is mostly written in C++. C++ has a bad reputation, but it's my favorite language. It's just that you need to write C++ the way C++ wants to be written. If you follow the naive advice to use it as "A Better C" you will never get the bugs out.