Older blog entries for AilleCat (starting at number 22)

Ok, so anyway, WebFirst turned me down, who knows why....

My references were sterling, I know that much....

Anyway, Camelot is getting off the ground, so I won;t need a FT job, I hope...

Other news... Angela is pregnant...which is a miracle, for those that know me, you know the story.... so I'm gonna be a Mommy :) Wish me luck!


Waiting: So I'm waiting to hear back from WebFirst, a small company in Rockville. Sounds like interesting work, and I'd get to do a little more development than I've been used to in previous jobs. I know my references are pretty good (Thanks Kurt, Yazz, Steve Westmoreland), so I don;t see it as being a problem. I just want to start working ASAP.

If that doesn;t work out, I've got a contract doing some code and architecture review for a company that does software for a few large telecommunications companies. So that could pan out to be kind of lucrative, but the deal hasn;t been signed yet, and I'll find out more tomorrow on that. It sucks that I can have such a sterling resume, and have a difficult time finding a job. I think its because of my location. Too much gummint work here in Maryland. And no company is willing to sponsor Gummint Clearance nowadays, takes too long, and you lose money paying someone to sit on the bench for 3-18 months while the process happens. 2 years ago, no problem. This year, no way. *sigh*

Update: So its been a long time, I left OSDN in November, been struggling to get a small business off the ground with minimal startup, working more on Ecartis, and pretty much doing the same-old, same-old.

We moved to Maryland in Dec, and Angela and I are engaged to be married on Feb 2nd, 2003.

Besides that *shrug* not much happening

So anyway, I know I moved most of my personal stuff over to diaryland.but I just recieved a really cool email today in reference to ListMistress. For those of you who don;t know me, I'm Trish, kinky geek, and I run a list management site for BDSM related lists (other lists too). Evidently he thinks its a novel idea, my idea is that it would be QueerNet for BDSM

So anyway, was laid off this past week, not too worried, anyone know of any decent jobs in the DC area? I'm moving out of MA as fast as my severance money will take me :) It was a voluntary layoff anyway, I've not been in good health and was biding my time, now I'm recovering and was ready to return to work, and I was offered a nice severance package. I'll take it, "go on.....take the money and run....."

So anyway, I've decided to move personal stuff over to Diaryland I'll post what little technical content I have lately over here.


4 May 2001 (updated 4 May 2001 at 15:19 UTC) »

So I spent the last few hours on AIM with Angela, and sharing my mp3 server here at the house with her, the blessings of a cable modem is that its pretty fast and she's on a fast network at school, we ended up looking at Celtic Jewelry goodness and then listening to Simon and Garfunkel, and if anyone knows me well, they know I'm a huge Simon and Garfunkel fan. So we spent a long time listening to S&G together, and though we're separated by distance, it doesn't feel that way when we're doing stuff like this. This is a good thing. I go to bed contented knowing that someone else, especially her, smiles at S&G music like I do.

Random (or not so random) lyrics:

	My mind's distracted and confused
	My thoughts are many miles away
	They lie with you when you're asleep
	And kiss you when you start your day

Simon and Garfunkel, "Kathy's Song"

4 May 2001 (updated 4 May 2001 at 01:19 UTC) »

So in the interest of not causing waves with *anyone* right now, and trying so hard, because I want to scream it from the rooftops, I am extremely happy over some really honest sharing with a friend (definitely more than a friend to be honest, MUCH more than a friend, though our friendship, we both agree is the most important part, and the core of our relationship)

So how to explain this, my roommate, Zane, who I love dearly once described relationships to me and a couple others in terms of flavors of ice cream, now Zane and I both have this gift for metaphor, which enables us to really communicate well, its neat to have a friend that communicates so similar to me. So back to his ice cream, he was explaining relationship dynamics, especially poly ones, and he said "everyone wants to be `chocolate 'in a poly relationship, but `strawberry' can be just as yummy".

What he meant by this, is that theres a tendency to want to be primary, and that being secondary is not where most people want to be. And my response was "I want to be strawberry, dammit", mostly out of the fact that I had just gotten out of a relationship where I was `vanilla' (he didn't mention this, but to me that particular flavor is monogamy, which is definitely *not* me), and I was not particularly into committing myself as chocolate, unless it was one certain person, which due to certain circumstances, was not happening at the time, and to be honest, with this person, strawberry was "ok", because I valued our friendship so deeply.

Well through alot of talking this week, I think (no I'm pretty damn sure) that "I want to be chocolate, dammit" and not strawberry, as if that was ever in question. So I tell my roommate this, and he says "You *are* chocolate loser" and then he says "strawberry covered chocolate", and I think "yum, just the way I like it"

2 May 2001 (updated 2 May 2001 at 16:33 UTC) »

Slowing Down:

So you may notice I'm slowing down on diary entry stuff, as my life's been pretty busy. So I'm not sure when the Interactive Week article is coming out, but it should be interesting, I'm happy, if I wasn't going to be leaving the computing world so soon (to go back to school for psychology)

I have little views of burnout lifting slowly, which is good, the other day I got alot of catchup work done at work, and I need to get the CVS thing done sometime this week for Listar, I may have to put it on anagram or victor because OSDN isn't really handing out free machine space and bandwidth anymore *sigh* I'll have to pitch it first whereas before I had pretty much free reign. Guess I totally gave that up when I didn't want to be a full-time manager.

Good News:

So my ex is dating someone else now, I find this is good as I'm not the object of an obsession anymore, well maybe not her obsession, I'm sure there are people in the world obsessed with me *giggle*.

A person I have a lot of care and feelings for and I, have been discussing alot of things lately, it came out we feel alot of mutual attraction (comma DUH bang bang bang which reads as ",DUH!!!" for the stupid, DUH!!!) towards each other, and we are going to spend some time together. Yay for honesty,(even if it only comes after a whole bottle of champagne and 3 prairie fires (tequila + hot sauce).

I am probably moving out of Acton by the end of July, which will be good for me, personally. I like it here in Northampton, and I have a cable modem and nice stuff, and my roommates are finally starting to settle down and not hate each other as much. Lets see if their issues can be repaired, I love both of them alot, and I hate to see my friends fighting.


So I guess I better wind this up and get back to work, I'm for the most part happy....oh one other thing, I went to see Ember Swift (and the yummy Lyndell Montgomery and Cheryl Reid) and Gooselove and Antara, and Pamela Means on Monday night, it was an *incredible* show, I mean just amazing.

Pamela Means is a wonder on the guitar, very infuenced by Ani and maybe Paul Simon, and folk guitar greats.

Ember Swift, is amazing, a bit of vocal acrobatics, but musically incredibly good, Lyndell is a monster on the violin, s/he's got this amazing electric violin, and pumps it through an octave pedal to get it to sound like a weak string bass, but its really cool. and then he plays it like a bass at times which blows my mind. She also is a pretty good bassist and Cheryl is a really good drummer. If you have a chance, check out Ember Swift's page.

Gooselove and Antara are a local duo, and just amazing, its folk and rap fusion its amazing, kindof reminds me of Arrested Development once in a while, and really heavy and sometimes inspirational song lyrics. Goose's website contains alot of cool observations, lyrics and such, but if you are homophobic or even not cool about queer culture, please, don't bother (for that matter please stop reading my diary) I may mention that it also contains a link to Antara's website as well , which I also just linked to.

Queer music at its finest, and you all heard it right here at the queerest of the queer's music review ;) (notice the pronoun fluctuation when talking about Lyndell? No that wasn't a mistake, it was intentional ;))

nice to have such adoring fans, hey, is this thing on?

feeling better:

Feeling much better lately, I know its been a while, but seriously the Sun helps Psoriasis big time, and I've been spending alot of time out in the Sun. So, I've been up and walking around and actually feeling halfway decent. Although, the downside is, my skin is red as a lobster now. As my friend Tristram would say if he was around, "Moderation, Grasshopper"

New Look for Trish:

So I decided to somewhat radically change my look, so I had my hair chopped, and I got a septum piercing, and no, this is not something that was "just a whim", I seriously thought about both things for several months, and took the plunge this past week when I was feeling decent. Pics to come soon.

Thoughts on Stardom:

Well not really, the "You're a Star Now" thing isn't me, but I think its cool that Interactive Week is sending someone over to take my picture, so the whole world gets to see the "new Trish" when that Interactive Week issue comes out.

10 Apr 2001 (updated 10 Apr 2001 at 03:47 UTC) »

So anyway, I'm here, I was interviewed for an Interactive Week article this week on people involved in the Open Source community, evidently Hemos gave them my name, yippee. More to come on that when I know more.

I'm getting this feeling I don't fit it anywhere lately, I mean how many Butch Male to Female Bear Leatherdykes do you know? Its slightly frustrating and lonely. Not to mention that my inability to generally get along with people has obviously caused me difficulties at work. I'm kinda tired though, I gave my all, and nobody had any complaints for almost a year. Then I get burned out, and somewhat lose interest in my job, then I'm just in no mood to deal with people. I usually leave jobs after a year because of that, however I'm trying to stick around until I go back to school in January.

I'm going to visit Robin and Angela on the 20th though, and thats good news, they always make me feel better and loved.

So yeah, I'm burned out, what else is new, oh yeah, I'm sick, sometime around after I got back from TSC, my arthritis got much worse, now I wake up with a fever every morning, sometimes it fades, sometimes it keeps going. I'm tired of it, honestly, I've really made an attempt to not let it get in the way of the rest of my life, but feeling ill all the time makes someone VERY cranky. Especially when its combined with the inability to move around.

I try to keep things positive, and not whine about anything, I hate whining, and I'm personally not feeling like whining myself.

Work lameness:

So evidently, I don't pay enough attention to what people on my team are doing/have done lately, because sometime last week animfactory.net DNS went wonky, and I didn't notice, however we got an email from the person who is now managing us, who is a friend of mine, that upper management was unhappy due to money stuff associated with the failure.

However throughout the time I kept things running pretty much singlehandedly from Feb-July, then Yazz came aboard, and it was mostly the two of us, with some help from Liz, and they were almost ALWAYS up, no praise.

I really have issues when people only notice when something fucks up, its really positive fucking reinforcement. So I mention this to my manager, 2 hours later we have an email saying that executive staff commends us on the fact that we finished a bunch of projects in somewhat record time.

How much do you want to bet that was after the fact, and after the fact that I was discontent with the situation was communicated to my manager, and possibly he agreed and said something. So it didn't mean anything to me, honestly. Am I just a malcontent and can't be happy with anything recently at work?

I also have to say that the advice from management for me to take a step back and let people make mistakes isn't working for me, I mean I like to run a tight ship, where nothing goes wrong, I get frustrated that I'm not the one handling everything right now, but I get equally frustrated when I am. This isn't a reflection on the other people on the team, I'm easily the most experienced, and as a result, I do things much faster, and have a better feel for things, however when exec staff gets pissed about stuff that breaks, I feel responsible, *blah* I can't wait for Recovery.

13 older entries...

New Advogato Features

New HTML Parser: The long-awaited libxml2 based HTML parser code is live. It needs further work but already handles most markup better than the original parser.

Keep up with the latest Advogato features by reading the Advogato status blog.

If you're a C programmer with some spare time, take a look at the mod_virgule project page and help us with one of the tasks on the ToDo list!