In order to see
how one might come to believe such a thing,
however,
we must first spend a few minutes talking
about history.
Let's step into my
WABAC
machine!
In October of 2003,
Slashdot reported
on a pamphlet
by renowned hacker anthropologist
Eric Raymond
in which he advocated the use of the glider as
an emblem
that represents
the entire hacker community
:
Interesting
—
thought I.
And,
being a lowly slashbot,
I couldn't help
clicking on the link to see
whether the site was still up.
[This is where you get to feel clever
by spotting the irony of my action.]
Being a penitent slashbot,
however,
I actually RTFA'd.
And that's where the trouble started.
The Linux folks have their penguin
and the BSDers their daemon.
Perl's got a camel,
FSF fans have their gnu
and OSI's got an open-source logo.
—
Eric Raymond,
The Glider: A
Universal Hacker Emblem
Now,
if you are
nitpicky
like I am,
you'll have noticed that
these logos aren't really
all in the same class.[0]
Linux, BSD, and Perl are products[1]
or families thereof,
but
OSI
is an organization.
A logo for a product is commonly interpreted
as either an identifying label or an endorsement;
a logo for an organization,
on the other hand,
can additionally be interpreted
as an affiliation badge.
If you think this means
you can use the hacker emblem
to signify identity or membership,
though,
you are in for a surprise:
When you put the glider emblem
on your web page,
or wear it on clothing,
or display it in some other way,
you are visibly associating yourself
with the hacker culture.
This is not quite the same thing
as claiming to be a hacker yourself
—
that is a title of honor
that generally has to be conferred
by others rather than self-assumed.
But by using this emblem,
you express sympathy
with hackers' goals, hackers' values,
and the hacker way of living.
—
Eric Raymond,
The Glider: A
Universal Hacker Emblem
Oh, I get it:
it's a
fanboi
button!
The hackers' glider is, then,
in the same class of symbols as
the Democrats' donkey or the Republicans' elephant:
when you display it,
you are not claiming to be a dues-paying member
of the group with which the logo is associated,
but merely expressing sympathy
with the goals, values, and way of living
embraced by said group.
It makes perfect sense!
But I just couldn't manage to get excited
about something like that.
Some time later,
I came across
the now-defunct wannabe hacker logo homepage[2].
Antti Brax's parody of Eric's page
proposed that the dilettante poseurs of hackerdom
adopt an emblem of their own:
This is a proposal
that we hacker wannabes adopt an emblem
like what the real hackers have done.
Our emblem is quite similar
to the real emblem:
only the
life
pattern is different.
While the hacker pattern is
the smallest form that travels forever
our pattern crumbles and vanishes
after 6 generations…
just like our programs do.
—
Antti Brax,
The Wannabe Hacker Logo Homepage
"Now, that's more like it"
—
thought I.
So,
being a lowly wannabe wannabe hacker
who knew next to nothing about
Life,
I appropriated Antti's logo
as a pithy critique of Eric's emblem,
and decided to advertise my ignorance
by decorating
my Advogato profile
with the wannabe hacker logo
and a link to its homepage.

Unfortunately, that link is now stale,
while Eric's page is
(as of this writing)
the top-ranked search result for
hacker emblem
and
hacker logo.
This is, to put it mildly,
a disaster for wannabe hackers everywhere.
Of course,
one might argue that
merely wanting to have an emblem makes one a wannabe hacker,
but wannabe hackers still need
an actual badge they can wear with shame
—
and even wannabe hackers know
that an actual badge requires an image and a URL.
But where is the homepage for this logo now?[3]
Fortunately,
every cloud has…
well,
a cloud like a search engine's has
lots of data,
and one man's detritus
is another man's silver something.
So, although I did not find
the successor to Antti's page,
I learned
that Johan Kiviniemi had proposed
an
alternative wannabe hacker logo,
in support of which,
instead of the expected technical rationale,
he offered the purported fact
that the (U+2835) entity was included
in the Unicode standard
as an acknowledgment of the logo's popularity.
This is, of course, a blatant lie
(U+2835 is
actually BRAILLE PATTERN DOTS-1356)
of the sort one might devise
"4 teh
lulz".
And, predictably,
it soon netted its first victim.
Or are we now pretending to be "in the know"
by pretending to pretend to be ignorant?
Whilst being actually ignorant, perhaps,
FTW?
All the wannabe hackers
this idea was alpha-tested on
instantaneously said "Wow! Cool!"
without needing any further explanation.
—
Joahn Kiviniemi,
Wannabe
Hacker Emblem
Oh, I get it:
it's
a trap!
Or, rather, it's a
shibboleth.
Actually,
for
those
who would instrumentalize the glider as a nerd shibboleth,
Johan's page introduces what one might call
a shibboleth shibboleth.
O.o
I hear you.
There must be a better way to tell
the wannabe hackers
and actual hackers
apart
—
one that does not involve the use of clever emblems.
After all,
we have these two terms because
two kinds of hacker exist, right?[4]
Let me put my
pundit
hat on and see what I can come up with.
A wannabe hacker knows that he is ignorant,
but does not accept that his apprenticeship
will be long and hard;
so he eschews true learning
and instead looks for pearls of wisdom,
hoping that they will magically empower him
to travel faster,
or (better yet) so impress his betters that
they will bend time and space
to make his journey shorter.
—
Alex Laburu,
The
Great Wannabe Hacker Emblem Controversy
[Wow, that's a pretty cool hat!]
An actual hacker knows that she is ignorant,
and accepts that the path to enlightenment
cannot be traversed in a lifetime;
so she eschews received wisdom
and instead seeks to understand,
that her betters may be relieved
of the burden of carrying her,
hoping that, together, as traveling companions,
they can make the infinite road they are on
seem like a home.
—
Alex Laburu,
The
Great Wannabe Hacker Emblem Controversy
But how can you tell one from the other
in a "live" setting?
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you,
but there is no such thing as a
Completely Automated Program to Tell
Wannabe Hackers and Actual Hackers Apart
(CAPTWHAHA).
If we were to set one up,
some wannabe hacker would soon defeat it
and tout his mad skillz
in a disquisition on the matter.
Because that's what a wannabe hacker does:
he watches the hackers,
learns their ways,
and
–
eventually,
if allowed some trial-and-error
–
poses convincingly as one of them.
"But wait", you say.
"That sounds a lot like hacking!"
Indeed, wannabe hackers are hackers, too.
They may not have what it takes to hack stuff
— but they can hack you.
And, from an evolutionary point of view,
this is just about as good.
Actually,
the strategy of posing as a member of a collective
in order to gain privilege
or to instrumentalize others' labor
is very successful.
You don't need to take my word for it.
Just watch
one of those Discovery Channel documentaries
sometime.
Better yet, look down the hall:
your own Information Services manager is
probably a (former) wannabe hacker.
Or up at your screen:
your favorite mainstream technology pundit is
almost certainly a (former) wannabe hacker.
Or, indeed, into a mirror:
are you sure that you aren't,
on some level,
just another wannabe hacker, too?
Could you consistently get past a CAPTWHAHA?
Hint: it's a trap![5]
Hackers devise automated solutions
to many kinds of challenge,
but
ascertaining
the hackerliness of
a given individual
isn't one of them.[6]
Hackers know that
the body of hacker knowledge grows too quickly
and the path to mastery is too random
to be accounted for in a codex.
Therefore,
let us not waste another minute
concocting standard tests
with which to assess somebody's hacker quotient;
such attempts to ritualize and trivialize
the hacker's journey are
decidedly unhackerly.
Besides, what would be the point?
After all,
one cannot earn membership in hackerdom:
one can earn standing,
but fellowship is born of mutual commitment.
Let us, then,
revel in the baroque,
irreducible complexity of hackerkind,
and continue to put stock
in our own and each other's judgment.
Let us,
to put it more succinctly,
champion hackitude over craptitude.
And let's lose those hacker shibboleths already
—
they're just wannabe CAPTWHAHAs anyway.
[0]
Never mind that
the
Perl camel is an O'Reilly trademark
and that
the
Perl Foundation's logo is the Perl onion.
[1]
Of course,
associated with each of them,
there is also a community of users.
It is worth noting that,
in the case of Perl,
the real "product"
of the Perl community
is the Perl community itself.
Because
Perl
is a Shinto shrine.
[2]
The original hacker wannabe logo homepage
used to be at
http://www.iki.fi/asb/FUN/LOGO.html,
and the logo itself was at
http://www.iki.fi/asb/images/h.png.
[3]
And what happened to Antti?
If you know, please share.
[4]
Are you sure?
[5]
Interestingly,
a CAPTWHAHA would be
the sort of test you can only pass by not taking it.
[6]
FWIW,
Advogato's
rating algorithm
acknowledges this tacitly.
But that's a topic for another rant.
I wish to acknowledge,
in no particular order,
the contributions of
Steven Rainwater,
Charles Stewart,
Nathan Myers,
Mauro Persano,
and
Luke Leighton,
whose suggestions and encouragement
helped make this a better article.
All remaining flaws are
my sole responsibility.
I apologize prospectively
to non-native speakers of English
for any
obscure cultural references,
unusual words,
and jargon
that remained unexplained
by contextual links.
This essay was written
in response to
Luke
Leighton's call for articles.
The
canonical
version
may be more up-to-date.