A Short Play of Functional Language

Posted 18 Apr 2002 at 21:21 UTC by badvogato Share This

( midnight. April 15, 2002... a crowded internet cafe, various characters sociolize with multiple partners. among them, Pap is drinking with SoulBabe; Crackdonkey is making fun of Godzilla; Nobody is trying to get attention from everyone but no one cares about him since everybody already knows Nobody's motto 'I hate everybody thus I love Nobody'; Xerox repeats every word his partner utters...

And now, an accountant FuBar steps unto the scene...)

FuBar: Anyone who writes recursive software should have to do recursive tax returns...

Pap: FuBar, anyone who doesn't write recursive software obviously has a lot of fun handling hierarchical data with his or her non-recursive techniques. Besides, recursion is a piece of piss. The definition in the Hacker's dictionary is:

recursion . n. See "recursion"

( SoulBabe laughs at her partner Pap's cleverness ...)

Crackdonkey: Pap, I beg to differ. According to my cracker's dictionary, the definition is:

recursion: Pissing match -> assholes -> pissing match >> HOL (higher-order-logic): Pap

( Soulbabe ride with crackdonkey on a smart ass and left the cafe...

Nobody sighs...

THE END

"There very few things which we know, which are not capable of being reduc'd to a Mathematical Reasoning; and when they cannot it's a sign our knowledge of them is very small and confus'd; and when a Mathematical Reasoning can be had it's as great a folly to make use of any other, as to grope for a thing in the dark, when you have a Candle standing by you." -- John Arbuthnot, Of the Laws of Chance, 1692.


fellow china man, posted 19 Apr 2002 at 20:20 UTC by sye » (Journeyer)

bow to my fellow china man who is in the play

What YF=F(YF) Means To Me..., posted 20 Apr 2002 at 01:53 UTC by i0lanthe » (Journeyer)

...time for Gumby Brain Surgery.

Haskell Humor, posted 20 Apr 2002 at 14:01 UTC by badvogato » (Master)

great minds think alike.

how to declare an imperative, posted 23 Apr 2002 at 13:58 UTC by badvogato » (Master)

i started to read novelist Philip Wadler's short story "How to declare an imperative" and its sequence "The marriage of effects and monads". I realize just how insightful those stories really are. It explains all there is when we see people arguing about merits of different laws governing different tribes speaking different languages. Philip starts his story of "how to declare an imperative" by the following paragraph:

Four centuries ago, Descartes pondered the mind-body problem: how can incorporeal minds interact with physical bodies? He posited that the solution lay in the pineal gland: here, perhaps, was the place where the senses of the body provoked the images of the mind, and where the intentions of the mind initiated the actions of the body. ( For a modern take on these medieval musings, I recommend Dennett's Consciousness Explained [9])

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